Wednesday, March 13, 2013

3 days of being 28

That moment in the morning where you are well aware that the temperature outside the comfort of your blanket is many degrees cooler.... Yeah, I'm having that right now. I wrestle with running quickly to the thermostat and adjusting it or just staying here a few more minutes. I think I'll stay for a few more minutes.

Gratitude. That was the topic of my daily devotional. Being thankful for what we have. (That's easy) Being thankful in times of tribulations (that's tough). I often find myself showering God with praise when things are great, but cry out in sorrow when things are tough. I'm learning more and more in my walk with faith that it is in those times of hardships that God grows me the most; therefore, I must be thankful for those times.

What being 28 has meant to me today...
I have had 28 amazing years of life. Full of friends. Full of family. Full of great memories. But it's hard not to want more. It's hard not wanting to go to the next stage of life. It's hard seeing Facebook notifications of another engagement, wedding, or baby announcement. By no means am I bitter, but anxious for some of these things to occur to me (in the correct order that is). While I have moments of dwelling on not having these things, I'm thankful with the same tongue because I have had the opportunities to do things that may be hindered from some of the things above. I'm able to pick up and move with whichever way the wind blows me. I get to solidify my faith before bringing in others to the world... But a girl would be lying if she said she didn't want to feel that love from a guy from time-to-time. Which brings me to my next point... Where have all the good guys gone? Honestly, I think growing up in the bar environment like I did has tainted my picture of guys. I catch the pick up lines before they're thrown out. I catch myself being "too easy to talk to". I catch myself locating the douchebags (yep, that word was necessary for this) in a crowd. I catch myself getting entangled with the wrong guy. How do I fix this? How do I know when to let my walls down? How do you "just know"? So what has 28 meant for me today... I'm 28. Single. Completely confused by guys still.

Pro.Con.Pro will be the method of attack for this blog post; therefore, I will end on a positive. I'm truly grateful to be in two small groups in this season of my life. Each group brings such different dynamics to my spiritual journey. Tonight is when I get to meet and lead a group of single ladies...aka my friends. We have great laughs, great good, and even better talks! I feel that in the last couple of months out core group has really grown deeper in our relationships with each other in order to deepen our relationship with Christ. With that said, here are some highlights of the night:
- There is only one thing a carousel does well--go around and around and around... This is not a good place to be if we want change. What in my life is riding on a carousel?
- We have a choice: the easy reaction (like a carousel) or the good reaction (challenges us to move forward). Easy doesn't mean good. It typically means we keep doing the same thing we've always done because it is comfortable. So do I want good or easy?
- I can attach myself to the four categories of unglued reactions in regards to different pieces of my life: exploders who shame themselves; exploders who blame others; stuffers who build barriers; and stuffers who collect retaliation rocks. Each of these reactions carries a burden and directs me away from the soul integrity, which is honesty that's godly.
- A roller coaster is how I would describe my progress with my faith. I'm constantly moving forward, but experiencing highs and lows. An obstacle course is how I would describe my progress with fitness (no pun intended), but it's challenging and causes me to get out of my comfort zone... I stumble and get back up in order to make it to the finished line.
- Challenge partners... Time to step on some toes!

I had a great hair day; therefore, it's a great day to be 28.

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