Sunday, December 16, 2012

It's a New Day...It's a New Dawn...And I Feel...

... Overwhelmed!

Lots of things have been going on.... work, school x 2, church, and trying to date. It seems I have allowed the wrong things to cloud my mind, so I am going to debrief on my thoughts going on in my head...if you get offended, I am sorry, but I have to let these things out.

Work: After the last couple of days, some new perspectives have come up with the shooting occurring in Connecticut. I love my job and teaching the students; that's not the question. I would, too, give my life for any and all of my students and co-workers to ensure their safety. This is not what has bogged my mind with work...what has is my work ethic. I am a workaholic. While that has gotten many doors opened for me in my profession, it has also isolated me as far as my social life is concerned. I've been more worried about getitng work stuff accomplished, rather than building relationships outside of work...and I see the complications with that. I guess that will be part of my resolutions for the new year to continue to work on that. I do not want to become such a workacholic that at 50 when I have time on my hands I realize I haven't experienced on the "fun" things of the 20's. I want to have that fun now and enjoy it again and again as I grow older.

School: What can I say?!? I need to put more time into it, but not willing to. It's exhausting, but I know the reward will be great at the end. The science endorsement program is in its last semester, which means I will have more time to breath after May. I will just need to focus on my doctorate, which will begin taking its turn to the hard part....the dissertation. BOOO! Get ready for the whining....and eventually calling me a doctor! Hahaha!

Church: I cannot be more thankful for my church and the people that have come into my life because of it. It seems like each week PK has just the thing to say to "me". I enjoy volunteering through ushering and leading a small group. I do see how things are changing for the good because of my release to let God take control of things; however, it is just as tough. Most importantly, (again) I am thankful for the friends that have come into my life to help me with the struggles, celebrate in the great times, and cry with me during my stressful times! I can't thank God enough for those people. As I have mentioned on Facebook, I am looking into another mission trip this summer. I've been inconsistent lately with my time with God, so I know I need to dive into making sure this is where God needs me! Oh, Tanzania that is! Get ready for more information to come!!!

Dating: Still just as frustrating as when I was 20...hahaha. Does it get easier? I don't think so! However, I am continuing to grow as a person with each and every experience, most recently....being patient! With past relationships, I have been screwed over time-after-time, so sadly I approach new relationships with fearfulness of being hurt I question, too much sometimes! If I feel something, I don't step away from my overanalyzing girl mind....instead, I press. Of course, I understand its frustrating for the other person and I hate that! I wish I were secure to know that I am not going to be hurt again (I think everyone thinks that!); I just need to let go to let things be...good or bad! I can get hurt, it happens...OR... I can have an amazing relationship develop. The thing is I just need to step back...have fun...and just LET IT HAPPEN! Yep, this is my own pep talk! The things I know I can and will offer someone...the world! When I fall, I fall hard and deep. I have let people come in and out of my life and a very, very small handful have left a lasting impression.... I did learn from my brother to not go back to people, which I've been good at doing, but those very, very few are the ones that have made it hard to walk away from. I just want to give someone the happiness they deserve, just as I want them to do the same to me. I know this isn't going to be a Cinderella story... hardships are to come, but being able to be wait through it is what makes a strong relationship. Furthermore, I know God has a plan for me... I just need to remember it is God's plan, not mine. He's already shown or will show me the person he has selected for me.... I just need to be patient AND stop questioning. :) I am excited, scared, anxious, happy, and scared to see what is to come of this!

Now... I can't have a faith, fitness, and future page without mentioning one of the F's... I have discussed my faith and future, but not my fitness. As I mentioned in a previous post, I needed to get my rear back in action, but nothing has come of it.....however, I am in a new perspective with what needs to get done. With that said, I am going to look into getting into CrossFit. It has really, really interested me and I want to get my butt kicked again! I miss my time with Andre, but can't fork out the money to get him like I had for a year. So new methods will be taken!!!

The approach of the new year, of course, has started to fuel some of the things even more, but all of these things have been weighing on my heart pretty heavy lately and needed to come out....hence, this post. I do want to get better about writing, but I can't make any promises....just know that I am going to try... just like I am going to TRY on all the things mentioned above. I look forward to the day, the week, the month, and what will come in the next year!

This song is appropriate for so many's been really going through my head the last couple of days!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Fitness...or lack there of!

The title of my blog is While I have been focusing on the faith and future, I have been really SUCKING (yes, sucking) at the fitness part. This is me being completely open and honest, because if I don't say it, then I won't be held accountable for my actions (or lack there of). This time a year ago, I was a crazy fitness girl, watching what I was eating and making NO excuses for not going to the gym.... here I am a year later, completely the opposite and things need to change...and FAST! So here is my public accountability... my last straw! Things need to change, things MUST change!!!  I guess I am scared of where I start again....while I want to call my trainer, I feel like he is going to beat his head against the wall since all his hard work is gone! On the other hand, that means more money in his pocket. Now back to this comment on where I start again, I know I need to get myself on a schedule (just need help with the accountability!). I am thinking I will make a Friday post that will me labeled "Fitness Fridays" it will include all of my workouts for the week (both the highs and lows) and will discuss my upcoming week's workout. By making this public, I am hoping it will make it more accountable. For those reading my blog, please feel free to call me out on things and check up on me... that's why I am writing this!

Here we go!!!

Time of Thanks

It has been a little over a month since I made my decision to go on the mission trip to Colombia, and, boy, has it been quite an adventure thus far! The times of highs and lows of preparation for this trip has come into my life. With that said, I have some people to thank!

First, I want to thank my mission trip team...They have been completely WONDERFUL and welcoming to me. In the short amount of time, I feel I have met some incredible people of God who I have so much to learn from...just as I think they will learn some things from me. I am thankful for the relationships we have started to build, and look forward to where they will lead.

Now I would like to thank those who have supported me thus far with my mission trip (financially):
Jamie- Wow! What can I say!?! Our friendship has been quite a great one, and I look forward to it continuing. I knew I could always count on you for things I believe in and want to do in my life, just as I support you. Thank you for being my first 10%

Jason and Kim- Just wanted to thank you for supporting my Sandals vacation! Hahaha... really, you guys have always been my cheerleaders when I have made big decisions in my life, and I can't be more appreciative for all the support!

Lynn- Our friendship has been short, but I am so happy that we have been able to become friends. From the Hunger Games to church dinner dates, I look forward to seeing us grow as friends and in our relationship with God.

Kelly- Oh Kelly, while I tease you about getting a flat tire when you brag about short drives...I do feel lucky to have a friend like you who understands the struggles in my life right now, but can quickly make me laugh. Thanks for being there when I need someone to talk to!

Alaina and Jennifer Y.- Oh my Bunco Buddies... I have enjoyed taking yall's Bunco! You are always a loads of laughs and I am thankful to have a group of friends like the Desperate Housewives of Grayson...maybe one day I will join the Housewives part of the group...until then I will remain the young, single friend!

Aimee (and Josh), Deanna, and Lizzie- You ladies have seen me at some of my highest moments in my life, and some of my lowest, but you all have always been there! Thank you for continuing to support me in all of my endeavors! Alpha love!

Midtown Mike (as you are best known)- We have been friends on-and-off since I moved to Georgia and what a roller coaster it has been. While you joke about my church involvement, I know you still appreciate what I believe in...thanks!

Margaret- Thanks for helping me on my journey with my faith through small group. Not only have I continued to build my faith, but have gained some great friends and opportunities through this time!

Ridgway- While we have an interesting relationship, I am thankful for our time together. You always were patient and believed in whatever I wanted to do! Thanks for your continuous support!

Mr. and Mrs. Abney- You guys have been like another set of parents growing up, always supporting and encouraging me in all my dreams...thanks for always being there!

Derick- You have been a great friend over the last couple of years, and I am thankful for a friend that believes in my dreams in life!

Tre and Karla- What a great family we have!?! It has been great having the extended family like we do, and I am thankful for the support we all give each other! Thanks!

Jonathan Ingle- My brother from another mother...thanks for being a great friend and supporting me!

While these are only the people who have supported me financially, I know many more are supporting me through prayers, which is just as beneficial. I ask that everyone continue praying for my mission trip team as we continue to prepare for the trip!



... I told myself I was going to be good about blogging, and lately I have been terrible. I need to get my mind right and my priorities (not that this is a crazy priority, but it needs to be done) straight! So here I am with trying to get back in the swing of things!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Why Colombia...What's Your Purpose?

When I tell people I am going on a mission trip to Colombia I get some interesting comments and facial expressions...mainly of concern for my safety and why of all places Colombia. While I have had the textbook answer for why this mission trip, tonight at our mission trip fellowship it really hit's my thinking and answer to Why Colombia? and What's my Purpose?

1. I had felt the calling to go on a mission trip back in the fall of 2011, but let the outside world get the best of me...or maybe I should say God knew I wasn't quite ready to make the commitment.
2. When the facebook post came up about the mission trip needing more people, it was my sign that God was ready for me to go... I think this was followed by all other things falling into place.

This was some of the why's...but not so much the purpose. If you have been on my mission trip page, you know the mission of e3 and 12stone in Colombia. It has been hard to express and get people to fully understand it and what my purpose is in Colombia; however, I must be honest... I sometimes wasn't too sure of my purpose. I know God was calling on my heart to do this, but I think/know there was something more.

So here's the answer... why Colombia...what's my purpose?
Because.... He is glorious!

Yes, a three word answer, but full of so much depth.

John 3:8- The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Thursdays Thirteen!

1. How your brother tells you he misses you 101- He has his children call you in sad, sappy voices and tells you that they miss you and you need to hurry home... Let it be put on record-my brothers miss me.

2. BRC...that's all I am going to say about that.

3.  Moy...the new word created by Rachel to identify a man-child.

4. I really love my small, small group! I like that I can tell them about who I am, what I am about, and they still appreciate me for who I am!

5. Abby-Auntie Jess, when are you going to marry the new Blake? I think Abby wants me to be married, because she asks this often.

6. Draw Something has become a little bit of an addiction...and yet I get mad when I can't figure out the picture. There is no way of cheating on this game.

7. My new cell phone makes for wonderful group text messaging conversations!

8. Whenever I have a moment with questioning the worldly things, I can't help but think "He is Glorious" this statement has really hit a cord with me!

9. It cracks me up at small group when it is time to pray and everyone looks awhile like students do in the classroom when they don't know the answer...guilty confession: I look away too!

10. I don't like missing church on Sundays, but spending time with my family made up for it!

11. I turn 27 on I suppose to be that old yet!?!?!

12. I enjoy waking up each more thanking God for another day! It really is the simple things!

13. I couldn't be happier with the friends I have met in the last couple of months! I am thankful for the people God has put in my life!!

Thursday Thirteens

1. I have learned I am quite guarded when it comes to dating after the last year of dating...this is teaching me there are a lot of great guys out there that would prefer me to not be so guarded. Must work on this... I think!?!

2. My small group makes me happy! It's amazing how in such a short amount of time we've come so close.

3. My students crack me up. Comment of the week- Alex & Brandon: Ms. Douglas, Hirohito is old in this picture. Me: When was that picture taken. Brandon: 1988. He's probably dead now! Me: Oh, I was alive when he was still around. Alex: Man, you are old! Me: Thanks!

4. March 8th marked a milestone for a very special baby! I am so happy to share my birth month with this precious baby. Jemma- you are quite the miracle baby, and I am so proud of how far you have come in the last year. Happy Birthday!!

5. Another student happy moment...Friday dances with my "cool" kids. I love being silly and dancing!

6. I can't thank the people who have contributed and prayed for my mission trip I will be going on this summer. It has made me quite happy and blessed to know I have people in my life who appreciate what God has done in my life.

7. Guilty pleasure... reality television...Swamp People, Jersey Shore, American Idol, Cupcake Wars, Lizard Lickin Towing, Anything on ID channel, Teen Mom, etc... I am a little addicted to other people's poor choices.

8. Every day...I am... thankful... for the... new... and old... people... in... my... LIFE!!

9. Dinner with my mission trip group to kick-off the birthday weekend was fun, interesting, and gets me even more excited for the trip.

10. Eager, excited, anxious, happy...these words are an understatement of how I feel about the Hunger Games trailers on tv....and the fact that I am going to see the movie opening night at the IMAX... Color me excited!
11. I love my family!

12. AHHHHHHH.... it's already my BURFday!!! I can't believe I am 27, which also signals something else interesting... get a new license! I can't believe I have already been here for 5 years! Crazy!

13. While I know everyone is rushing out to get me a birthday present...just head to to get my present...aka: mission trip! :)

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Few Words of the Weekend

Friday-Great friends from Small group + Fun and Sweet Movie + Laughs in the Parking Lot = A Happy Girl

Saturday- Helping a great friend with her OM team + Date Night = A Happy Girl

Sunday- Great Service at Church + Dinner with great friends (again) - Writing a Paper = A Happy Girl

Basically saying... I had a GREAT weekend. It is crazy how God puts people and events in your life at JUST the right time to make you realize is glory and how great life truly is!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Thoughtful Thirteen do you like that alliteration?!?

So I am stealing this idea from my SIL, since it’s an easy way to get my thoughts and happenings out all at once…and I don’t have to make a huge blog about it.
1.       I am a part of a pretty AMAZING small group with church! It is crazy how in just a few weeks we have bonded so quickly, and become such great friends. Our times with devotional are just as fun and exciting as our outings. I look forward to the relationships we will continue to build with each other and God.
2.       Thinking back to when I was a child in school, I thought teachers went off into this mythical world in the teacher’s lounge where they talked scholarly and about ways to change the world…now as a teacher, I realize it is opposite. Instead it is the perfect time to debrief about the day, but the thing I love the most is the random conversations we have in our down time.
3.       New license (with my name spelled correctly)….check! Passport appointment without waiting a month…check. Everything falling into place for my mission trip….check!
4.       I can’t be more thankful for the donations I have had in just the two and half days I started with making people aware of my mission trip and asking for spiritual and financial support. While I fret at times I will get the money to go on the mission trip, I know God will provide.
5.       My birthday is coming up and I am freaking out a little bit about turning 27…yes, I know that’s not old, but still it makes me want to freak out. To think that 10 years ago I thought I’d be married with kids by now…instead, I have my diploma kids. I guess everyone has to have some kind of financial burden in their life…mine just happens to be a piece of paper.
6.       My brother’s response to my mission trip….Sure thing. I'll support whatever you feel strongly about. I'm glad this makes you happy. Are ya'll going to be staying at a Sandal's resort while you're there? j/k :) I guess the cat’s out of the bag with what I am really doing…haha!
7.       Not tooting my own horn, but I love my job and I think I am pretty awesome at it! Today, I ended my last class with singing and dancing…not only did I love it, but the kids did too!
8.       My fortune cookie message: You have an ambitious nature and will make a name for yourself.
9.       I could take the weather we had today ANY and EVERYDAY…please!
10.   While consuming myself with my mission trip most evenings this week, I have forgotten the importance of sleep, so tonight I am going to remind myself about it!
11.   Because it is my thirteen thoughts, one that keeps ringing out in my head and makes me laugh has to be the image I have when imagining a man trying to approach two baby fawns…won’t make sense to you, but my small group friends TOTALLY get it!
12.   I am pretty sure I like to Skype far more than I like to talk on the phone….so who wants to skype with me?
13.   I miss my family like CRAZY!!!! I can’t wait to go home next weekend to see them!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

My Church...Their Mission...My Chance

My church, 12Stone ( has partnered up with an international company called e3 Partners ( This organization works around the world to collaborate with local communities on identifying weaknesses and strengths in the spiritual, physical, and mental foundation of their community. The goal is not to provide these people with a “band-aid” solution to their problem, but instead understand and help these communities develop the necessary skills to reach their dreams. With that said, this is not your typical mission trip. I will not be going in and building a church in a week or physically fixing ruined buildings. Instead, I will be traveling to Barranquilla, Colombia for a week in June to continue the mission of 12Stone, e3 Partners, and the local church communities. The goal in this mission is to share the works of Christ, develop followers of Christ, and to establish thriving churches that last longer than my time in Colombia.
I will be traveling to Barranquilla, Colombia from June 23-June 27 to take part in this mission trip. The cost of the trip is $2700. If I can get at least 100 of my family and friends to donate $27, I can proceed with the task that's been placed on me. Please consider helping in my efforts. If you are interested, please follow the link ( to contribute what you can. Thanks!

First of Many... I hope!

Well, here we go at my try of keeping up with a blog on top of all the other things I need to do, but I can get it done. I have taken notes from my sister-in-law about what things to include, so I will steal some of her ideas to get me started. Today, will be just a little debriefing on what's going on in my life, since many of you are probably visiting this site due to my outreach for upcoming mission trip. With that, here we go....

The last couple of years have been quite a rollercoaster for me. With the dreadful breakup with my ex, I was wondering aimlessly for something or someone to keep my mind occupied. While there were the momentary fulfillments, there wasn't something that was leaving a lasting effect on my desire for me. After reconnecting with a friend, she got me to join her at church and I haven't been happier since... Note: I don't walk around on clouds and rainbows. I have my rough times, but I no longer feel empty inside. I continued to fill my cup up in August when I decided to give my life to Christ in an open-baptism at church...what an experience!!!

Now I am on to the next thing God is calling me to do, and that's to be a part of a mission trip heading to Colombia in June. Things have been quite crazy in the last week with me making this decision, but I know it is the right one! All the things I need to do to make it reality are falling into place. While I am taking the necessary steps to complete actions on my end, I am reaching out to my family and friends to help support me in my travels to Colombia. First, I ask that you include my mission trip time in your prayers as we prepare for the trip, while we are in Colombia, and then to continue for the work after we get back. Secondly, I am asking for your financial support in my journey in June. The next blog has additional information on how you can help me get to Colombia!

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name." -John 15:16